Ramblings of an Inquisitive Teen

Reblogged from susurrations

solaceames:

angryasiangirlsunited:

Today I found out that this guy I dated shortly is in a new relationship with another asian person so I did a little digging and apparently his last few relationships have all been with asian people. When I was with him, I never felt fetishized but this does seem really problematic to me. The thing is that I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I’ve had this fear that maybe some day, some of the guys I’ve dated will say something along the lines of “yeah, I dated an asian once, too. In college” as if I’m some sort of college experiment. But when it comes down to it, I don’t know if I’d rather date a fetishist or someone who thinks of me as some sort of “other” to spice up their otherwise perfectly unblemished, white, love lives. 

I live in a primarily white town, and I’ve generally only dated white men, but reading this blog has made me ask myself some really tough questions, that I don’t really have the answers to. So I guess what I’m asking is, when dating primarily white men, what are we supposed to expect?

I’m going to take a crack at answering this, even though it’s an incredibly uncomfortable subject.

By racist standards, we’re supposed to be flattered by fetishist attention. Whenever I complained about that kind of behavior (e.g. men introducing themselves to me by saying “I’ve got a thing for Asian ladies”) even if I used mild language, the general response would be, “what’s wrong with you, that you can’t take a compliment?” I was accused of being a bitch, a prude, a racist, even a sexual fascist.

We’re supposed to expect, seek, and be grateful for this racist positive attention. But if we follow this standard, it’s also incredibly psychologically damaging. 

So my advice is don’t expect it. Have a standard that anyone you date should not be a fetishist. You deserve better.

That’s easier said than done :-( so in practical terms:

1) try to weed them out early on. Say plain things like “I don’t like fetishists,” or “fuck, I hate yellow fever,” and see how they react. 

2) expand your dating pool. Dating Asian men and other MOC can be difficult because there are also plenty of MOC fetishists, and even if they aren’t fetishists, we ALL still have to struggle with intra-POC and internalized racism. One of the most humiliating experiences of my life was explaining to an Asian man who was a close friend that I wanted to be more than friends with him… but he wasn’t interested, because he was getting into a relationship with a white woman who’d been a former friend. I don’t blame him, I don’t blame her, I don’t blame myself. It still hurt. But dating men who are not white can also be very relieving, in terms of knowing you’re not meeting racist expectations.

3) Stay far away from weeaboos. Don’t meet guys at conventions, anime clubs, almost anything to do with Japanese culture. Same goes for martial arts. Many male fetishists are obsessed either with anime or martial arts. 

4) have high standards, but be pragmatic. Sometimes it’s impossible to tell if a person is a fetishist. Sometimes a guy is half a fetishist, but sees the light and realizes what a disgusting racist he is, and quietly changes. This stuff is really really really hard. Blame them, blame racism, but don’t blame yourself.

Reblogged from susurrations

fuckyeahcracker:

fuckyeahcracker:

Effects of Thinking White People Are “All Like That”:

• Literally nothing other than white people having their feelings hurt on the internet
• I’m not joking there is no real world consequence of this

Effects of Thinking People of Color Are “All Like That”:

• Saudi student is literally surrounded by FBI for cooking rice under terrorist suspicions
• White people literally can not associate positive words with Black faces because of racism
• More white people use drugs but Black people are sent to jail for drugs at 10 times the rate that white people are
• Black people who “sound Black” earn less money than those who don’t because of associations with stereotypes. Black people who “sound Black” are less likely to get called back for jobs
• Black children grow up literally associating being Black with being bad and ugly
• White people when tested shot more unarmed Black subjects than armed and unarmed white subjects
• Hate crimes increase after Boston tragedy
• Moroccan High School Student is linked to Boston tragedy for being Brown
• Bangladeshi man is beaten by people out of racism
• NYPD Commissioner wants Black and Latino men to fear him after the police targeted literally 90 percent Black and Latino men in New York and humiliating them by frisking them in public under the assumption that they had weapons. Studies found that white men were the ones who overwhelmingly had weapons while Black and Latino men didn’t
• White people blaming and convicting Black men for crimes they never committed and everyone believing them because of racism
• Stop and Frisk, ruled unconstitutional was practiced by New York police disproportionately and unfairly affecting 90% Black and Latino men because of racism
• Universities throwing racist ‘Fiesta Party’ homogenizing culture with extreme racism
• Here are some of the numbers on hate crimes against People of Color and btw, Neo Naziism is increasing!
• Every 28 Hours an African American is Extrajudicially Murdered in the U.S.
• Black people 3 times more likely to be arrested for Marijuana
• Black people receive much harsher sentencing than white people for the same crimes do I need to go on?

But yeah, white people’s feelings :*(

I actually changed my mind, I’m adding more

• Deaf Black man is stabbed out of racism when his sign language is mistaken for a GANG SIGN
• Anti-Islam posters run free on the train to reinforce racism anti-Islamic sentiments and Islamaphobia
• Oops! Chicago police raids the wrong house, holds an 11 month old at gunpoint to raise their hand, kills their dog all because of racism and assuming it was a crackhouse! Oopsies
• Let’s take it overseas! Black people in England and Wales are 7 times more likely to be stopped by police than white people. Asian people are twice as likely
• People assuming Native american baby names are actually Native and have any meaning to any ethnic group when they don’t
• Here’s a whole collection of people saying racist stereotyping homogenizing disgusting stuff about Natives
• People protesting (Idle No More) defending Native people’s humanity are attacked with violence
• White kids think it’s totally okay and normal to photograph themselves lynching a Black baby doll like an effigy
  
• Member of the most glorified band in the world Paul McCartney made a racist white supremacist song called ‘No Pakistanis’ and everyone still glorifies him as a good person
• Racism in actual political campaign in Massachusetts against a Native runner portraying her name and image in a racist stereotypical inappropriate manner
• Indian Sikh school students protest for students who are banned from wearing their turbans in public schools in France
• Here’s a graph of the statistic that approx every 28 hours an African American is extrajudicially executed in the US
• NYPD profiling and targeting LGBT*Q People of Color
• Black students (especially boys and children with disabilities) face more and harsher punishments in public schools and are being pushed out of schools into the criminal justice system.
• Black male incarceration has jumped 500% from 1986 to 2004
• Albany police: SWAT literally uses a poor Black neighborhood to train in because they say it’s ‘realistic’
• The audio recording from a young man of color of a NYPD stop and frisking him based solely how he looks calling him a “FUCKING MUTT”
• Incarceration rates by ethnicity
• All of this fucking cultural appropriation

boom

Reblogged from angryasiangirlsunited

angryasiangirlsunited:

Today, in my engineering class, a group of idiots began playing that song from Mulan, “Honor to Us All” and began singing along with it. While I have absolutely nothing against the song, they replaced all the words with “ching chong” and obnoxiously screamed it to the tune of the song. This in itself infuriates me, but what makes it worse is that they would do it right in front of me, who they surely know is Chinese. Being that the class is male dominated (there are only two girls including myself) and that I am the only fucking minority, I failed to walk over and sock in them in the jaw… or even say anything for that matter. The more I think about my inability to speak up during situations like these because lack of the right words at the time or whatever, the angrier I become. I guess I’ve been conditioned to stay silent at times like these, as my school district is predominately white and that in the past, I’ve laughed with them in degrading my race in order to fit in. I know. I’m really fucking ashamed. And I’m really fucking angry. 

Wow. 
That actually happened to me once; someone in my class said something blatantly racist, and I just snapped. Sass mode activatedd